The Workification of Our Lives – How to Stop Making Everything a Job
As you can probably tell, I’m obsessed with productivity. I’m always thinking about making myself efficient, I gravitate towards self-help books above any other piece of written media, and I’m always buying fresh new notebooks hoping that will turn me into a productivity genius (it hasn’t yet).
I’ve always had this drive, but when I became an adult, I realised I was so obsessed with ticking everything off my to-do list that I had turned everything into another form of work. Even something recreational like watching a TV show became a job. I’d have it on my to-do list, and get agitated or anxious that I wasn’t able to take it off fast enough. I’d have to “schedule in” time to watch a TV episode, and then have a feeling of dread when it was taking time away from something else I really wanted to do (Yes! Stress over watching a TV show – can you imagine?!).
But that’s what happens to us when we have “productivity brain”. We turn everything, even if it's supposed to be for entertainment or relaxation, into something we have to plan for, schedule in, create a habit of… when it’s supposed to be for fun.
It took a while for me to realise how bad it had become, and I had to take a step back and think about all the fun things that I turned into a job. And the list was pretty long; it ranged from watching TV shows, movies, reading books, finishing my YouTube watch list, drawing, writing, and even self-care routines. Over several years, these enjoyable things in my life had become tasks I started to get anxious about.
So a year ago, I decided to make a change – I started to recognise and reframe the way I approached my life, my work, and my interests.
Categorise your life into 3 sections: Focus, Maintenance, Fun
As a Type A perfectionist, I am wired to maximise all my outputs. Even if it’s something simple, I have to do the absolute best with it. However, once I became more independent and realised I had to do a lot of mundane things like cook and clean (and survive!), doing everything in my life in a perfect way proved to be incredibly difficult.
That’s why I decided to consciously categorise everything I did into 3 main pillars: Focus, Maintenance and Fun.
Focus is what I choose to put my all thought and energy into. These are the things that I want to achieve and excel at. For the Focus category, I’d recommend putting a maximum of 3 goals at any given time. When I wanted to add more into my Focus pillar, I ended up feeling so overwhelmed that I stopped putting energy into anything at all. Keep it simple and it will be easier to succeed.
Maintenance is the pillar which covers all the “boring stuff” that reoccurs in your life. Some can be fun, but most of it is a drag – these are the things that don’t (and shouldn’t) require heaps of effort, and the best thing you can do is show up and do the bare minimum. This includes brushing your teeth, your finances, and cleaning. However, the more exciting stuff could include cultivating your relationships, your fitness goals, or travelling at least once a year. These areas are important, but don’t require a lot of effort or focus to achieve results.
Note: Sometimes things that start off as Focus goals end up in Maintenance after a while – for example, a Focus of mine was to cultivate and maintain new relationships, but now that I no longer think it's a big need for me to make new friends, I prefer to maintain the friendships I already have. Fitness goals are the same – for a lot of people this can be a Focus goal, but for me personally, I prefer to keep it as a Maintenance goal because it’s a long term habit and I don’t want to overthink it.
Then lastly, we have the Fun category. Anything under this section needs to be pure enjoyment. If I feel an obligation to do it, it doesn't belong there (it might be more suited to the Maintenance category). Anything in the Fun category must be fun (if it wasn’t clear) – and if I’m not enjoying it, I’m not doing it. Fun means something different for everyone – so for me, it’s mostly relaxing activities like watching movies or TV, going out with friends, or writing things like this blog.
I have created a simple table below with all my pillars, and everything that fits under it. I’d encourage you to do your own one as well! Remember, everything is fluid, things can move from one category to the next depending on your lifestyle, mood, and priorities. Goals can overlap under these pillars too!
Fluctuate your effort based on your mood, and still reward yourself for doing the bare minimum
A key part of doing well with your Maintenance goals, is being fluid with your effort level and not feeling like you need to perform to perfection. For example, when I created my 7 step skincare routine, I would feel stressed that I didn’t have the energy to do all of it after a long, exhausting day. So what do I do now? Based on my energy levels, I adjust how many steps I do, knowing that the most important thing is to take off my makeup and put on retinol before I go to bed. When I have more energy, I do all 7 steps. Regardless of how many steps I do, I still consider it a win because I did the bare minimum.
Even for all my fitness goals, the most important thing for me is to show up. I don’t always swim 2km, but if I show up at the pool, I’m more likely to do it than if I didn’t show up at all. When I play badminton, I spend half the time chatting with friends, but because I showed up I get 1 hour of fitness that I wouldn’t have otherwise.
If you don’t feel like doing something, it’s okay! You’ll make more progress showing up consistently and doing a small amount imperfectly, rather than doing it perfectly once and never doing it again because of your fear of failure.
Ditch the completionist attitude
I used to be such a completionist. If I started a TV show, I had to finish it. If I started a collection of anything, I needed to buy every single item in the series. Even if I started out with good intentions, being a completionist would turn sour really quickly, after I realised things became an obligation and I started to do something because of a weird, external expectation. It can easily turn something enjoyable into work… and knowing how much stress it can be, it’s something I now avoid. Don’t complete things because you should, do it because you want to.
Eliminate obligations as much as possible, and reframe the ones you can’t get rid of
After being in my own place, and having complete autonomy over my own schedule, I realised there were a lot of obligations I still had (that I didn’t remotely like!). So the first thing I did was eliminate them. I stopped going to social events that gave me no value, I stopped doing things that I got bored of, and changed the fitness goals that didn’t suit my lifestyle.
However, I started to realise there were things that still felt like ‘work’ which I still had to do (like washing the dishes and cleaning my place). Because I couldn’t avoid these obligations, I decided to change my attitude towards them. Instead of feeling annoyed for doing these “time-wasting" activities, I reframed it as something I wanted to do to make me feel more focused in my life. Nothing makes me feel better than having a clean environment, so instead of hating the task of cleaning, I started to think about the benefits of doing it (i.e. turning off my brain for an hour, and being clear-headed after). I also made sure that I put on my favourite podcast or playlist while I was doing it, to keep it enjoyable and mindless.
Accept that you can’t be an expert at everything
There are so many things we do in our lives as human beings, that we can’t expect to be experts at everything. There’s just not enough time in the day. I used to feel bad for being mediocre at things, when there was actually no benefit from excelling at it (for example, why do I need to be top tier at knitting or cross-stitch?).
Focus on a few things you can excel at, and be average for everything else. This is way more manageable than trying to be an expert at everything (and you may end up being really good over time because you took a sustainable approach!). To attempt to excel at everything is often a massive demotivator… because learning a skill to that high degree can be very intimidating.
Don’t set yourself a lofty ongoing goal that you can’t maintain
When I want to start a new habit, I somehow always set myself up for failure. A good example is drawing. When I was young (a literal child), I used to draw every day and I loved it. Drawing is the reason why I have a design job today. But like a lot of artists, life got in the way, and I stopped drawing for fun. Drawing has been on my to-do list for ages, and every time I want to get myself back into it again, I proclaim, “I will draw every day for an hour!!!”. And guess what? It never happens. Maybe I will try for 1-2 days, but it’s never sustainable and I feel awful that I failed.
So what I try to do now is make a realistic goal, like draw once a week for 20 minutes while watching an episode of TV. And even if I don’t sustain it, I still try after multiple failed attempts. I don’t feel guilty anymore for failing, because I remember that I’m choosing to draw because I like it, not because it’s a job I need to do.
Don’t do something just because a rich, “successful” productive person told you to
When it comes to productivity systems and making myself efficient, I have tried everything…and honestly, not everything works for me. We’re constantly bombarded with heaps of hacks and tips – which can be eye opening and insightful, but everyone is different, and it doesn’t mean everything will work for everyone (even the popular, scientifically proven ones!).
This section isn’t here to disregard these methods or shame anyone who does get value out of them – this is just a reminder that even if you’re not doing these things, it doesn't mean you aren’t living your life the right way. These are methods I have tried and find a bit useful sometimes, but they aren’t things I maintain regularly.
Waking up at 5am every day: I genuinely cannot bring myself to do this. I love my sleep and I always stay up late at night. I can wake up at 6 or 7am, but 5am is too early to commit to every day. I do wake up early for swimming, but that’s only to snatch an empty lane when the pool first opens.
Taking cold showers every day: I know cold showers are good for focus and happiness, but taking cold showers especially in winter is not enjoyable at all for me. I use my shower time as my own rest and relaxation period, and don’t want to turn something very enjoyable into something that I use to maximise my productivity.
Bullet journaling: I really wanted to be a bullet journal girlie, but unfortunately it was too much work to organise my day. It also triggered my perfectionist tendencies too much – if my spreads didn’t look good like the ones on YouTube, I wanted to start again or throw all my efforts away. I found my digital systems so much more efficient than writing out a spread every day/week.
Morning pages: Morning pages are great, I love writing and I endorse it. However, it wasn’t something I could sustain. Morning pages were incredibly helpful when I was feeling like I was in an emotional rut, and I couldn’t regulate or understand my thoughts and emotions. Now that I’m feeling more focused, I don’t need to maintain this habit every day because I could spend that time doing something I enjoy.
Using the Pomodoro method: I like to keep my focus and rest time very fluid, so I usually don’t apply a timer to my tasks. Having too much of a rigid structure doesn’t work for me. I like to have a guideline for my tasks, but adding the extra layer of timers makes me feel a bit overwhelmed.
Eating the frog: Choosing to do the hardest thing first really requires a lot of willpower. And most of the time I need the confidence boost at the beginning of the day to get into that high willpower mode. I do small tasks in the morning to knock them out (especially if they take less than 5 minutes). Depending on the day and my priorities, I can do the difficult thing first, but it’s not something I force myself to do.
Don’t break the chain: This is a productivity method that encourages people to sustain habits daily and not “break the chain” – but I think it’s a practice that sets people up for failure. If the goal is to never miss a day, what happens when you do? Your 100 day streak is ruined and you have to start from 0 again, which can feel very discouraging.
Daily gratitude: I am incredibly grateful for things, but I don’t make it an explicit daily practice. Personally, when I’m feeling negative, I don’t want to negate those feelings by trying to be positive. There’s a fine line between being very grateful, and exhibiting toxic positivity traits (and living in denial). When there are moments to feel grateful, I make sure I relish in it, but otherwise – making it a daily habit makes it less special in a way.
Meditate: I cannot for the life of me learn how to meditate (it’s just so boring!). So a substitute for meditation is doing something in silence, like yoga, tidying or cleaning. I need my body to do something else and let my thoughts run free and my head be empty.
Stop comparing your life to social media
This point may seem incredibly obvious, but it needs to be said – don’t take anything on social media at face value! It’s never the whole picture!
But how does this relate to the workification of our lives you ask? Well, very normal routines and experiences have become “elevated” because of the rise of Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. People are showing off their home cooked meals, their cleaning routines, their skincare, makeup, and home decor journeys. It’s really easy to feel inadequate when you’re seeing things online that you do everyday too…but your version of it is so much more mundane, unglamorous and sad. It makes us feel like something as simple as feeding ourselves needs to be done “nicely enough” so it’s worthy of being seen by other people. It’s adding a layer of extra work onto something that should be done with the bare minimum.
Even mundane things like how people pack their cupboards and fridges are done so perfectly on YouTube. I used to ask myself — why don’t my cupboards look like that? But in actuality, most people’s homes are not even close to that, and there’s no reason for them to be.
It’s important to remember that a lot of these people who are successful at showing off an aesthetic and aspirational “simple day in their life”, have made it their literal job to do so. It’s their job to keep their place evolving, to show it off, to buy new things. It’s for us to consume and aspire to. In the same way that it seems like the makeup gurus have time to do extravagant looks all day… it’s actually their job to look good. Not everyone has the same priorities, so don’t feel like you have to set your life to a standard from social media that was made to be aspirational.
Don’t hold yourself to the outdated promises you made years (or even months!) ago
When we set expectations or goals for ourselves, naturally these things can take a while to come into fruition. Some of these goals will take months, years, or even decades to “complete”. And by that time, a lot of us would’ve evolved into different people. We may still have the same personality, but our priorities shift significantly throughout the years. Insights and experiences change our perspectives (for example, I was dying to be an animator and VFX artist in film before realising how awful the working conditions and treatment of people were in those industries — that’s no longer something I see myself doing even though I would still love to work on a Disney or film project!).
Throughout the years, I’ve adopted different habits, been inspired to pursue different things, and changed my weekly routine significantly. Sometimes I think about my past and wonder how I had the energy to do all the things I used to do (sometimes with a bit of envy too). Could I do it today? Yes, if I still really cared about it… but ultimately no, because I now put my energy into other things.
Often we find ourselves feeling guilty or working towards a goal that doesn’t make sense for the people we are today, but we’re holding onto a dream that we think we still need to fulfill. Sometimes we need to acknowledge it’s time to let go, move on, and be who we’re supposed to be right now.